The Island

     Throughout time there has been many examples of people that have experienced an "aha moment" or moment of change. There are two I would like to focus on. I never was put into a few day trance like Alma the younger or giving into the "dark side" like Vader to make me turn. Mine was as Oliver queens was- it was an island that changed me. Last summer I had decided I didn't believe in what I was being taught. I had decided I don't need the church and listen to anyone. It started out because I was ashamed and I thought I was not worthy of forgiveness so I turned it into pride. I convinced myself that I was smart enough to figure it out. I started living as if I wouldn't go on a mission. I didn't read my scriptures or pray really. I ignored spiritual teachings because I believed I was better than it. I gave into my desires and only focused on myself. I focused on the temporary pleasures and desires instead of the bigger greater happiness waiting for me out there. I lost my best friends in the world. I had a big issue that was better until I became less diligent and let it enter my life again. I became a disgrace to the man that I wished to be. I used people- I hurt them and severed relationships. I was alone- I truly was on an island. I didn't want to admit it. I looked into the mirror and saw what I had become- a disgrace and a failure to the man of my future. I hit my lowest point and wanted to end it all, so I planned it out. The people that meant the most to me had saved me that night. I asked for a sign if there was something out there and forgiveness from my father. This was my "aha moment", he took the evil from my heart- I had found my way off the island. I could no longer doubt my purpose in life because it was given to me in my darkest hour. I still desired those vices but the world was clearer and I was on my way off of the island I had removed it from my life. The island left some deep wounds not physical but no less painful- emotional spiritual and mental. As poison beautifully put "wounds heal, but the scars still remain." The island taught me more about myself then I could have ever learned other wise. It hurts I had to learn it there but I am grateful for the change and I am happy it happened. I will have to deal with the consequences of my actions for many years to come but it is all worth it because I'm on way back from the island with the help of my family and my best friends in the world and when I get home I'm gonna right my wrongs and focus on never letting myself go back there.

Steven O. Jordan