The Missonary Issue

“If you do not magnify your calling, God will hold you responsible for those who you might have saved—had you done your duty.” President John Taylor

The reason I chose to write this is because recently I have heard tons of stories that break my heart to hear all of these but it made me think about it? Its like a pandemic of people coming home or not even going out in the first place. Kids I have grown up with my whole life that I felt were certain were going tell me they don't want to go. I don't know the actual stat but the seniors last year have seem to produce the least amount of missionaries that I can remember. Why is this?

When you're growing up in the church on Sunday they talk of these things called "missions". They tell you about it and all you hear is you go to some country for 2 years. Your first reaction is "ok not really sure why you're telling me this that's like for old people I'm in kindergarten and power rangers are tight" then they get real close to your face and go "tell me you're going on a mission now like are you going? Ya you're going when you turn 19 not a day later". You respond "wow chill down I'm not even sure what I'm doing tomorrow let alone 13 years from now but ya I'll go."

As time goes on and you go to church they continue to reiterate that you're going to go and you have said that as a kid. But as you grow up it becomes more clear what it is. It's funny how your perception grows on it. At first it just sounds like a vacation you do for 2 years wear nice clothes and help people. Then you understand that you can't talk to anyone at home. Then you realize you could go to the worst places in the world. Then finally you realize people probably will hate you and want to beat you up. But you already kinda committed when you were 9 so you're contractually obligated to fulfill it. But see you still think like hey that's still a few years away I just discovered I have armpit hair and girls don't actually have cooties that's just an urban myth life's pretty cool no need to worry.

You hit high school and you go "oh **** I have 3 years then my sorry butts in Zimbabwe living on bugs and muddy water". This realization causes a pure panic attack. "I'm not ready to be on my own? I burn Mac and cheese how am I supposed to live by myself?" You then go to fire sides or speak with former missionaries and they tell you it's the best 2 years of there life and how great it is and how it'll change your life. Than once again remind you about your contract saying you'll go.

Finally senior year hits and you start counting the days till real life hits. I can't begin to explain my fear for what has to come. See at this point people stop lying about how it's only sunshine and rainbows. They tell the story of them getting beat up, shanked, hit with a broom, threatened and how many times they looked down the barrel of the gun. How they would have nights where they would bawl and think to themselves why am I here? Everyone hates me I just want to go home it's been months since someones wanted to hear my message and I've only baptized one person in my year and a half out here. Beneath there tears they said these words: "Did I make a mistake?"

Around this time people start asking the question this time looking for a more honest answer, hoping you honor that contract but understanding that some will say no. You truly start thinking about your answer. It would surprise you how many of them that say no. It is said in our church that every young man able and worthy should serve a mission. I believe this statement is completely true. But missions aren't for everyone.

I'm sorry its insane to hear but they aren't. Some people just are not cut out for them. They are hard. They are scary. Some people just flat out are too lazy to make it. Plus you add in the people that can't because or morality issues. Some go out for the wrong reasons then come home when they lose focus of it because it is not something to build faith off of.

Again they are not for everyone. They are hard work and to be honest there are probably more doubts and hard times then smiles and laughs. But that's on purpose. God wants us to get out and struggle. He wants it to be hard for us. If it was not hard it would not help us. It wouldn't change us into the men it does. Steel is only hardened by the hottest part of the fire not the outsides. To first be ready on your mission you have to understand this: Its the hardest thing you will ever have to do.

Second be ready. Look yourself in the mirror and ask "why am I going?" is it because of my parents? If I don't my parents will cut me off? Or the classic parents bribing you by paying for college and buying you for a car. Maybe its because you want to fulfill the promise you made when you are a little boy. The worst of all is to spare the embarrassment of not going. If this is one of your reasons or maybe one that is equally good but maybe not strong enough to carry you. Get on your knee and pray about it. Tell him you have doubts and he will help you through them.

Third and final is prepare for it. Read and study scriptures and anything you can. Go to church and prep classes. Let the temple be a place of peace and refuge for you. Keep in mind though it doesn't how much you prepare and what you do there is nothing that will truly make you fully prepared.

For those of you that don't want to go. You are fine. You are not bad people. Contrary to what your bishop and others in your community tell you it is still possible to be a good person. It does not mean you are going to end up a crack addict and do nothing with your life. There are many people I look up to in my life that did not serve for one reason or another.  You can still live a very happy and successful life. The only warning I give to you: you may miss out on blessings and life lessons you can only gain out there.

Those who want to but are not worthy. I understand how hard it is to stay worthy. Its not easy at all. Satan sees your potential, he sees how many people you can change there life and help them. Keep fighting the good fight. Don't give up. Wait the time you have to and use it as a blessing for more time to prepare yourself. Keep your head up and push forward.

I understand that what I've said so far sounds like I'm against missions but I'm not. To be honest I'm super grateful for mine coming up. I'm so excited for it because I need it in my life. If you have read any of my previous posts you will understand how I have grown up with a lot of confusion and questions that weren't very clear until earlier this year.

Even with a lot of answers being answered this year there is still a lot of fear in my heart. To be honest with you I'm scared senseless about it. Its at minimum a year away and I already have my worries and doubts about it. Sometimes I think to myself how much easier it would be to have never been Mormon and not want to serve a mission and be somewhere else.

If you are honest with yourself though the mission is truly for you the individual more than anyone else. Its to prepare you for the real life and the troubles that are to come. God's laws are to protect and help you. Not to restrict and punish you.

Final thoughts on this subject: My reason for going? I believe that this will help me figure out some stuff and prepare me to be a great father. Find your reason. Hold on to it. Never doubt it. Make every decision from this moment forward preparing yourself to fulfill it whatever you hope to accomplish what ever you are looking for. Also if you chose to go out do not go home its a two year commitment only go out if you are ready for it. Go out and return with honor.

Steven O. Jordan