A look into Steven O. Jordan's Mind

6:55 A.M. Alarm clock rings

Edward: Get up you lazy piece of crap. There's so many things to get done today.

Steven: Hit snooze. He deserves 5 more Edward 

Hannibal: Sleep in schools for chumps

Jerome: I'm going back to bed

Edward: nope not one more minute you get up and hope in the shower

Get out of the shower to change

E: you really should shave you are looking grizzly. I think you should wear a suit today

J: wow did you get bigger last night boy you look good. Let's find that tight volcom T-shirt

S: Nope you are just sticking with a good fighting collard shirt and gray pants. No need to be flashy just good looking

H: You are ugly no matter what you wear might as well go naked, wait no like that's a really good idea

E&S&J: shut up Hannibal 

Driving to school

S: growin' up or strong are always super solid ways to start the day. We know you always get the first thing you listen to in your head and I wouldn't mind hearing you sing this all day

H: Let's see what NWA has to say this fine morning. They are always super helpful in the morning

J: ESPN radio. I love sports.

E: how do you stand that junk? That's for every other average kid in the world? Why not get smarter? I believe there is a TED talk you have been keeping your eye on. 

Entering school and spot that kid you kind of know but not close enough to call a friend

E: keep walking he isn't worth your time. You are above him and let's face it you loving being alone.

S: No you don't. Go speak to him it's always good to say hi

J: you are way bigger than that guy 

H: Look how ugly he is

S: Now you're going to walk over there and ask him how he's doing today

E: keep walking just keep walking

Turn down the hall without stopping

S: That was super selfish of you. You could've made a difference

E: screw him no one was there for you when you were alone and needed a friend

S: It still doesn't make it right

H: Serves the idiot he wasn't worth your time 

Enters classroom sits in seat

H: Put your headphones screw whatever your teacher is saying

J: school sucks. Let's go for a run or shooting

S: That girl next to you keeps talking to you talk back. Ask her how her day is. Ask her out now isn't that the million dollar idea

E: pay attention. Stop doing everything else. Just learn that's why you are at school. Politely or Rudely tell this women to shut up and leave you alone

H: Do it rudely. Swear so she knows you are serious

Moves over to sit by that super pretty girl

E: Idiot. You are an idiot. You don’t know how to talk to those. Also you don’t need this. Why diD you do this to yourself?

H: How you doing?

J: Show her your muscles. Now. Flex your arms. But don’t do it like super douchey. Do it causally. Casual is good. Women love it

S: I’m so proud of you. You need to get back out there and meet other people. Don’t ask her on date but its good just to talk to her.

Leaves classroom walks down hall with headphones in and head down

H: Screw you to everyone around me

S: Look theirs your boys

E: you don't have boys or friends. You don't care about them they don't care about you. You don't need anyone continue to your next class and keep your eyes focused on your goal

J: go see if any of them want to spar tonight or shoot tonight

S: You have friends quit psyching yourself, quit over thinking the room

H: You are a loser

E: shut-up all of you. Just keep walking

Leaving 3rd and heading to lunch

S: let's hit the commons or go home for lunch. Mom loves when you come see her at lunch

E: go talk to a teacher. See what they say. Or go read. You really are into that new book it's really good

J: go lift you are wasting time you could get better. Plus anything you would eat would just add to your weight issue

Decide to head to the commons. Enter the commons. Stands awkwardly among several groups

S: He's trying to be social just let him be

H: Wow there is some great butts in this school

J: this is the biggest waste of time. How does this benefit you at all? 

E: I'm with Jerome. What's your plan? You don't need anyone here. 

S: Don't listen to them it's great having friends. Go find a group of your friends you have more than you think.

H: You really don't. Your only friend has a whole other group he's a friend with. Your other friends only talk to you because they feel bad for you or there mom texts them about you 

J: again I reiterate that you are wasting valuable time right now

S: Everyone just stop. Go talk to a group of your friends you have them

Walk up to a group of friends. Stands there with nothing to add in because I was not present during the event being discussed

H: Say something you idiot

E: remind me why you associate with these guys? They are immature idiots. They are anchors on what you want to become

S: they are hilarious. They also have good hearts. They make you happy just stay here and listen. You enjoy being around them

J: these guys are the epitome of a waste of space

Diana waves. I wave back

All at once: just leave that one is

Spots the dark wizard from afar

S: Uhh we have a problem

H: Remember when she broke your heart and you were a wreck? Ya cuz I do. You are pathetic

E: F*** her. The fact you dated her is a joke. 10 years from now you will realize how breaking up was the best thing for you

J: you are way hotter than anyone she will ever date I promise you

S: Should you wave at her to just be polite? You still want her to be happy don’t you?

E: no you don’t care about anyone beside yourself. She left you and us. Screw her and move on.

H: You are such a loser I can’t believe you still care about her

Walks to the car listening to music. Gets in car drives to gym

J: finally something constructive with your time. All that other stuff is the worst.

E: I can’t believe how big of a meathead you are. This doesn’t enlighten you at all

S: I like it. I think it helps you get ready to be as perfect for her as you can be

H: Here we go again. “Rachel this” and “Rachel is that”. Just face it you will never find love. You are not good enough for it. There is a reason girls don’t talk to you

J: I want you to know that I’m proud of what you are. You have come along way but we have so much to do. You are going to go in there and have a great workout. Remember that his trophy is above your bed and you want to make him proud

Finishes workout. Drives to boxing gym

H: Finally you do something that I enjoy.

S: I hate this place….

E: I think you get stupider just by standing here.

J: this is the best thing for you

Starts hitting the bag with all of the stress of my day and tears up

S: Wow wow calm down don’t be so angry

H: No let it. Every ounce of anger and frustration take it out right now. Your fears, regrets, jealousies and desires let them control you

E: this isn’t healthy for you. This environment is not in line with our plans

S: Ya I’m with Edward on this one. You are above this lifestyle you are a good person

H: Nope give in to every urge you have and just release it right now right here. Here's some more motivation for it you’re fat, you had to give up your dream, she left you oh and you have no friends

Goes to work

E: See this is important. Not all that other stuff. Put your shoulder to the wheel and just get it done.

H: Go home and sit on the couch and do nothing. Your boss is a dick and you hate him

S: Learning how to work is super important

Walks to car. Looks at phone. A text from a girl that doesn’t ever talk to you. Something’s wrong with her.

S: Call her back

E: I don’t know maybe this could be beneficial for you?

H: Ask for tap

S: I'm serious just see what’s wrong with her. Help her out because I know how much you needed it. Just help others karma will come back around and hopefully someone will help you out.

E: I retract my earlier comments. Who does she think she is just texting you when she needs something she’s not your friend. Don’t help her just ignore it. Stop letting people only be there when it’s convenient for them

Texts her back. Drives home. Enter the house. Family asks how day was

E: Tell them it was good and productive

S: Ya I would say it was a good day. I feel like you did everything right

J: you sure worked out hard today the other stuff doesn’t really matter. Look how happy he is. He looks proud of you

Workout in basement, family prayer, personal scripture studying, listen to a ted talk hit the shower lay in bed

S: I want you to know you are a good person. I know you are alone but this is the best path for you I promise. You have never been happier and that will continue. Just keep on I promise it will all work out

E: I know i'm incredibly hard on you but I’m only doing this for you. You keep top yourself and just continue to be smart and learn I know you will do great things. You think you need these people but I promise you don’t.

H: I want you to know I hate this you

J: all that other stuff is great but remember who you truly are not what they tell you

Wake up. Go to school. After school go to the temple

S: It’s so beautiful. I don’t think I will ever get over how cool this is.

E: I wonder what’s behind the entrance they wont let you through

H: I can’t believe they let you in this place. If they knew what laid below the surface… your thoughts… your desires. They would kick you out like a leper

S&E: you no longer run him. He’s better now he all got that figured out you no longer run us Hannibal. Hess made up for what he did

Goes to football game

J: This is home. This is pure heaven for you.

E: such a stupid barbaric game

S: I can’t even imagine when your son plays this. That will probably be the best day ever.

J: Hey what do you think those cheerleaders are doing later tonight?

Walks around field. Congratulates players. Gets in car heads home. Walks inside. It’s your week to babysit the kids.

S: I love babysitting. It is honestly my favorite thing you do all week. Lets take your siblings out to dinner.

E: These are the only people you associate with that I like. I think i’ll take the night off. Peace

H&J: ditto

Takes siblings out to dinner. Have a great time. Come home and go into the church to shoot hoops until midnight.

J: I like this. I like this a lot. Great choice. This is what’s going to separate you from anyone you play

Wakes up next morning. Goes to the gym. Watches football. Helps family out. At 6:30 looks at phone. No messages.

E: lets watch a TV show. Scratch that lets go read. You did just get that brand new book on your kindle

H: East bound and down east bound and down east bound and down

S: Gotham or walking dead

J: Are you kidding me?!?!?! Its college football day? Of course we are watching football

8:30 rolls around. Looks down contacts

H: They’re is a pretty girl with your name on it tonight

J: Screw it. The nights shot just workout down in the basement or go for a run. Just make sure you are back in time to watch the second half.

S: You have to have someone to call. Just text anyone you need to go out tonight.

E: I’m sitting this one out. Either way won’t matter to me as long as you don't go do something stupid tonight

H: No one wants to hang with you tonight I promise

No one answers. Watches end of football game in the gym in your basement. Goes to bed. Wakes up for quorum leadership meeting

E: This is the one time a week you get to show how smart you are. Take a advantage of that. Show them what you are made of

H: Its such a joke anyone would listen to you. You can’t even think for yourself you need our help to get anything done

S: I’m just proud of how far you have come. I’m sure Desmond has to.

J: Can I just say holy crap that suit looks good on you

Comes home. Eats family dinner. Family home evening and prayer

H: I don’t like this you. I miss the old one that listened to me

S: Hannibal doesn’t know what has talking about you. Great work the only thing you need to do is get nicer and open up.

E: I think you did great. Don’t let them in. They just make it harder on you. Just keep going on our plan and it’ll all work out well.

J: I’m proud of the progress. You are getting that much closer to the athlete I know you are. You will make him proud. Just keep on pushing.

Here is the issue with the whole revealing thing.  I don’t know who I am. It depends on the day. So I am truly sorry nels. I can't reveal an identity if I don't have one.

Steven O. Jordan