Dating: the endangered practice

I was scrolling down Twitter last night and I saw an interesting trend. I saw approximately 100 tweets give or take. 40 or so we're about the usual sports another 20 were interesting facts and about 20 were just random things people I was following decided to share. But 15- 20 had about the same meaning or theme. They were all girls whining about dates no longer happening or how "chivalry" and respect are dead with boys. This by no means is uncommon, in fact to go on Twitter and not see this complaining is a rarer sight.

I layed in my bed thinking about it I thought of the 3 main causes for it: social media and forms of communication, girls and boys. 

So we start off with the leader in my mind which is media and communication. With all of the forms of communication boys don't have to ask out anymore. Why would they? They want to get to know you? They go on Twitter or Instagram and look down there feed of pictures and other things they have posted. If you spend 20 mins stalking someone on there profile you can tell what there interests are, who there friends are, depending what they tweet on there personality. Plus with all of the pictures they put on there you can tell the physical attraction level. To add to this we have been giving the wonderful tools of texting and other forms of communication that allows boys to not have to ever talk to you in person because we can learn all we want from these interactions. Why would we ever take you out with all of these tools? All of the pictures on them are a highlight reel. Social media also adds a layer of unachieveable "relationship goals" or "chill dates" that make the average dinner and a movie seem bland or unappealing to someone being invited to these activities which sadly are the more realistic. To add to that movies and other forms of media convince us that our attraction to women is nothing but a sexual lust. Feelings aren't real only sex is. As does the rising rate of porn viewing. If in the back of young men's mind is engraved why would they want to date? Sex is the only thing that matters? They're not humans only objects. To put the cherry on top the new styles now a day is to exploit the sexuality of woman and to have them be provocative making it easier for their counterparts to view them as objects. 

Now the girls. First thing first I believe with every fiber of my being that every woman deserves true love and the highest admiration from a young man no matter what the circumstances are. That being said, for some reason this generation of girls thinks they're entitled to a "Notebook" story and their very own Ryan gosling. They are not. You may have to work for it a bit. You may have too look outside yourself and appealing more than just what you wear. Why would a guy ask you out if all he thinks is you're self centered? You guys preach that you want dates but the kids that would be willing to take you out you would say no to? You don't think you would? Oh I hear you talk about that "creepy" kid in your math class and how you talk about how weird he is. The poor kid has never talked to a girl in his life and doesn't know how to act. You make him flustered because he has a crush on you and doesn't know how to show you. Ya you would shoot him down in 2.111 seconds after he suggests you guys should go to a movie Friday and without hesitation you explain to him how you have to mow your lawn all Friday night even though it's December. Heaven forbid you ask the boys out to dates and take some form of action for something you want instead of expecting someone else to do it for you. You guys want a guy to care about you so much but won't do what's necessary to make it happen. Instead of waiting for a good guy or a legitimate date you are so desperate for their attention or affection you settle for "Netflix and chill or "drives". Everyone knows what that means. Hooking up with them may bring a sense of accomplishment and joy for a brief time but overall further increases your desire for something real. If you hold on and don't accept hookups and make boys take you on real dates they will come it may just take some time.

I believe that men should hold women in the highest regard because they are truly are better half and we should treat them like that. Everyman will at some point come to realize this. Sadly very few of them do this while they're in their young teen years causing confusion for their feelings and what to do with them at a younger age. They look to whatever is around them to teach them how to act. Again this ties to the media that they are most familiar with. If you see young beautiful women in bikinis running along the beach that may have no sexual meanings behind as an 9 year old boy your body is built to be aroused by that. Slowly your mind becomes calloused to these thoughts and ideas because you're surrounded by them. Unfortunately this more cases than not leads to pornography, completely desensitizing true feelings from primitive sexual urges. A lot of men feel that dating is just to please these desires. They understand how bad women crave desire and attention and exploit it with little to no effort at all. Why if I wanted to kiss a girl would I take her on 3 dates costing me around 60 dollars over a span of a month if she gives it out after talking at lunch four times texting for a little over a week, finally taking a drive up the canyon for free and achieving what I want? If a guy wants to know a girl on a deeper level he just talks to her or invites her over with no deeper intentions. It's free and you do not have the fear of rejection as you would with asking her out and often times you learn more about someone with a heart to heart in someone's kitchen than ice skating. Also dating is scary for boys. "What if she says no?" "What if I totally blow it and she hates it?" "I always chew with my mouth open... What if I forget to close it?" Why would they risk the embarrassment of the 1000x things that can go wrong?

I think it is an impossible thing to fix but I believe these things can help. Girls need to stop thinking they're above people and stop expecting that things will just fall in their lap and actually be nice to people demand respect instead of being ok with being objectified. Boys need to stop treating girls as objects and with respect understanding that they're someone's daughters. 

My feelings: I hate dating. I think dating around with no feelings toward them just for and hooking up is dumb. There are three girls that I have met that made me want to date and spend all my money and time with. Outside of this I have done very little dating or have wanted to. This all being said this practice is important to high school. It probably will only become more rare as the issues stated before only become more prevalent sadly. I would encourage those who are thinking about asking someone out please do. You may never know how much that person needs it or what I may lead to.

Steven O. Jordan